Jazzident's Day
This is a 2005 We Haz Jazz webisode, aired on President's Day of that year. Plot Riff and Matthew run against each other for the president of a jazz and blues fan club at Jazz Academy, but embarrass themselves when both of them fart really loudly during their speeches, which turns into a comedy routine complete with wisecracking patter. Later, the boys learn their lesson: If you are ashamed and embarrassed because you did the wrong thing, think about what you did wrong and try not to do it again. If not, apologize, shrug it off and move on. After their lesson gets taught by Sophia, she hosts a Riff-versus-Matthew fart battle at Riff's house. The next day at jazz academy, Jazzident Riff promises never to make really rude noises onstage again and shows Sophia his RC fart machine (complete with a joystick-shaped remote with a button on top") and Matt reveals his whoopee cushion for proof but says he will stay at Jazz Academy with Vice Jazzident Matthew forever. Songs *If I Could Vote Trivia *Farting Jazzident Riff and Matthew dolls and action figures were made to promote the episode. *2-minute, 8-minute, 10-minute and 12-minute loop videos of Sophia shouting "3, 2, 1! Fart!" were made on youtube by various users. *Music videos of "We're the Parents" starring Jazzident Riff as Rancid Rabbit were made by various users on YouTube. Script Scene One (The bell rings at Jazz Academy, then we zoom in on a jazz and blues appreciation club poster) Riff: (walking in the Academy halls as Magnolia Rag plays) I jis' cannot wait to be Jazzident! Matt: Me too! What's that in your pocket? Riff: (zips lips with a cartoon zip sound) I'm not tellin' ya. (At the Jazz Academy stage, we see Riff and Matthew at their podiums.) Riff: I am gonna be Jazzident 'cause I love da world of jazz an' blues! I also sport ATTITUDE! (hits button on RC fart machine by accident causing the same fart as JFL Enterprises's Tighty Whiteys Farting keychain, the kids' chorus laughs and Riff smirks, smiles, grins, points to himself and blushes) Sophia: Don't you know farting is rude? (Riff shakes his head, then runs away screaming. His face turns red.) Matthew: My name's Matthew Timer McKinley, but you can call me...(swings arm and squeezes whoopee shion hidden in the palm of his hand, causing the same fart from the RC flarp machine) the Vice-Jazzident. (Kids' Chorus cracks up, Matthew looks behind him as if his butt made the fart noise) Matt: You can blame my butt, but I have a GREAT sense of humour! (Squeezes his whoopee cushion behind his back, kids' chorus laughs, Matt blushes and smiles) Matt: Careful, (pointing to hair) my hair is extremely sharp! (metallic shine sound) (With hand cupped around mouth) Hello, world and all its inhabitants! I just ate eight burritos, so what are you waiting for? (squeezes his whoopee cushion 3 times, hysterical laughter from kids' chorus) Riff: (hits button on RC Fart Machine) Blame it on yo' kid sis! (More hysterical laughter) Matthew: (squeezes whoopee cushion) Crank that up! Riff: Well, I jus' finished eatin' a jar of pickled eggs an' dis is what I get! (Activates RC fart machine, much more hysterical laughter from kids chorus) Matthew: Beware the stench of my breakfast burrito farts! (Squeezes his whoopee cushion twice) Scene 2 (In the office) Sophia: Why are you two so embarrassed? Riff and Matthew: We made rude noises onstage. What should the two of us do? Sophia: Take a deep breath, think about what you did and try not to do it again. (Riff and Matthew take a deep breath.) Sophia: Farting is really rude. Please don't do it onstage. Riff, Matthew: (nodding) Okay. We'll stop talking about it. Scene 3 Matthew: Vote! It makes a true democracy! Riff: A right fo' you an' someday me! (If I Could Vote) Scene 4 (Riff's basement in his bungalow) Sophia: Welcome to "Fart Battle in Beadsville-Tonight!" I'm your hostess, Sophia Sanders, broadcasting LIVE from the basement of the bungalow of my good friend, Riff Rogers, 97 Swing Street! Armed with an RC fart machine and whoopee cushion in hand, Riff and Matthew will be our contestants! 3, 2, 1! Fart! (Riff and Matthew make really loud fart noises) Sophia: Riff's was pant-burning juicy and Matthew's was window-rattling loud! So Matt wins! Round 2! 3-2-1! Fart! (Riff and Matthew make really loud fart noises again) Riff's was ear-splitting and Matt's was extra-wet and juicy! So Riff wins! Round 3! 3-2-1! Fart! (Again, Riff and Matthew make really loud fart noises) Riff's was glass-shattering and Matt's was really hot! Matt wins this round! Round 4! Get ready now. 3-2-1! Fart! (The boys let loose) Riff's was really loud, and Matt's could be blamed on his grandmother! Riff wins this time! Get ready, round 5! 3-2-1, fart! (the boys make gross noises) Riffs was just plain rotten, and matts was so gross! Riff wins This battle! Good game, Matt! Remember that farting is only done in private! Scene 5 (the next day at jazz Academy) Riff: I, Riff Rogers da Jazzident, will never make rude noises in public again! And I will be here to stay at Jazz Academy with ma Vice-Jazz-i-dent Matt forever! (The kids' chorus all cheers! Sophia hugs Riff and Matthew) Sophia: You 2 knew what to do when you were embarrassed 'cause you did something wrong! I just adore and love you two! Riff and Matthew: We love you too, Sophia! (The webisode ends with a tearjerking, heartwarming group hug by Sophia, Riff and Matthew.) Category:Webisodes Category:Scripts Category:Farting